In a hotel room in Barcelona,
I cried memories into my mother’s collar bone.
Thoughts of laughs and miles traveled,
The time you stood up to those assholes,
Of you and Mountain Dew
In the back seat of my neighbor’s car
Heavy breathes and whiskey vomit on my shorts
Asking how much they miss you too
Its been two years but it can’t be true
You’re gone our time is through
Gone too soon
I’ll never know the way you felt
Put my emotions on a shelf
The earth is round and hard as hell
Your tortured mind is gone as well
But I still think of you and Mountain Dew
Across the pews at church one Sunday
I saw your dad and froze, there was nothing I could say
Avoiding contact I fade away
Im not ready for that today
Im sorry I cant be brave
You’re a grain in the desert/ and the only grain I want
I never held you/ for more than a moment
But suspended in my mind/ the wind took you away
So I will have to wait and see if invisible forces can bring that grain back to me
credits
from Palette,
released October 15, 2019
Written and produced by Nick Utter
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